Four days without Facebook. Now that I’m mostly retired from the digital marketing world, you’d think I wouldn’t need my social media accounts.

Sometime on Sunday night, bleeding into Monday morning, someone logged into my Facebook account, reset my password and them tunneled into my Instagram account. Once there, the perpetrator did something so egregious that Instagram deleted my account without warning, notifying me with the very non-descript charge of “violation of terms of service”. According the the Instagram help page, this will never happen unless a person has multiple previous violations, which I did not.

Facebook then disabled my account, because my linked Instagram account was deleted – guilt by association.

My requests for review were responded to with auto-responders that I should hear back in 24 hours, which came and went. No further information was provided.

I then turned my attention to examine how often I relied on Facebook or Instagram to fill my day. At least 2-3 times per day, I experience the repeated realization as I try to open my social media icons, “Oops! My account is disabled. ” It seems like these apps are hardwired into my day.

Next, I realized that a new online course I was taking had its discussion group on Facebook. Not to mention the various Facebook groups I was a member of and from which I benefitted through updates, commentary and camaraderie.

Most importantly, my local community group has numerous active groups on Facebook. I’m an admin for many of these groups and need a Facebook account to help out in these groups.

I resolved to return to Facebook, but more thoughtfully than before. But what does that mean?

Facebook is relied upon and baked into our society. It is a “free” utility that we pay through our attention.

This incident feels unjust and out of balance. Someone assaulted me through fraud and caused harm to my digital presence. Now I am largely invisible to part of my world.

I wondered, “have I been erased?”

One friend, out of 1500+, reached out to me through LinkedIn. “Did you quit Facebook? Your account has disappeared.” I explained what had happened.

I was reminded of a quote from the World Trade Center Memorial museum:

The silence of my friends and family is unnerving. Although that I doubt that I am unique in this experience. How many of my friends have reported that “they’ve been hacked” to which I just shrugged and thought, “they’ll be fine – and will be back in moment.”

The default reliance on Facebook, a corporate giant with questionable social motivations, by my community, my teachers and my political leaders is unsettling. Now that I know how utterly unresponsive and opaque their support system is, and how one sided their power is, it seems reckless to empower them with our trust.

My expectation of 24×7 availability to these social media networks is revealing.

So how am I returning thoughtfully?

1) Where possible, I will enable multi-factor authentication for any platform of importance. This will typically mean that I’ll need a password and a code that the app will text to my cell phone, but other modes are possible. This will block most future hack attempts.

2) Any meaningful content I develop will be carried and copied on my personal website and backed up to my computer

3) I will say what I mean, mean what I say and contribute only when I believe it will help influence a more positive future, help someone in need and/or open someone’s mind to new perspectives.

4) I will hold my social media presence lightly – no longer linking social media account and standing ready to regenerate a new account at a moment’s notice. Social Media behemoths can cut my profile with their arbitrary lawn mower but they will not touch my mycelium and, like a mushroom, I will pop up again.

I recently coined a phrase, “Fight like an earthworm.” I’m not even sure I fully understand what that means – but I know that right now, there are millions of earth worms transforming the world around me… unseen but present. Never erased. Always changing. And the soil is richer for them.