I’ve been a personal development junkie most of my adult life.   It started with an interest in software methodology when I was in my 20s.   That progressed to an interest in (rough chronological order of) agile methods for product development, martial arts, integrative medicine, emotional intelligence, eastern spiritual philosophies, Taoism, Buddhism, QiGong, Aikido, agile methods for building companies, reincarnation, meditation, Integral Theory (philosophy), Immunity to Change, Shamanism and Reiki.

While my inner world was evolving,  I have been building businesses, raising a family, creating new community and trying to figure out my soul’s purpose.

Coming into 2014, a series of events have led me to a new perspective on life and my role in it.   In many ways, I can see more clearly than ever before.   I see the way in which my ego has created a pendulum between mission-driven euphoria and disappointment-driven depression.    I can watch the pendulum now, still feeling it but not being held by it.

The winter months found me moving into a new place with my 19 year old son.  Like the pioneers of old, we are preparing for our full family migration here in the summer.   The snow has been falling frequently and we have more precipitation than usual.   A “Polar Vortex” of extreme cold has descended upon my existence – both environmentally and spiritually.

Ken Wilber (founder of Integral Theory) says that, as a soul ascends the spiral of life, we feel pain more deeply but care less.  Like a shaky hologram projected in a sci-fi movie (or CNN),   I’m holding that perspective these days.   I have faith that what needs to emerge will emerge.    I’m not going to force it.  I’m not going to build a “life map” (yet).

I am going to listen to the wind and feel the blistering cold on my skin.  I am going to laugh when I can and watch with curiosity.  I’m going to love and care and hold those close to me.

I will not force an answer.

It feels like I’m landing on the surface of a new planet rife with gusting

winds, shattering cold and driving snow.